Thanks for the great question. I think what you have shown in measure 16 is good. A couple of things to adjust – when transcribing the right hand to have intervals read upwards, you must use the “special right hand sign” (dots 46, 345, 345).
The tie after the F4 8<sup>th</sup> note should be a chord tie, as the end of the accumulating arpeggio.
Everything else looks as clear as can be!
(Measure 18 needs a little adjustment – the G4 8<sup>th</sup> note should be followed by a chord tie, while the E5 dotted half should be followed by a single tie.)