First of all, we will be changing the statement in 14.15.1 of the UEB with Nemeth lesson manual soon. It is a misinterpretation and misunderstanding that was not the intention of "division between lines" outlined in the Nemeth Code. It makes sense to begin a new line with every sign of comparison when a link will not fit on one line, but beyond that there is no logic to the statement. That being said, you may have an easier time of this now.
Your first transcription is clear and well done. The ASCII that you pasted into the message box is unformatted, so I have attached a BRF copy of the recommended format. Note that, although technically this math is not displayed, I am still applying the "special margins" rule. Especially when there are author's comments, the extra indentation pattern applied to the runovers makes this easier to deconstruct when reading.
I am using the "run-in" style of placing the author's note on the same line as the math, if it fits. If it doesn't fit, I am using the same runover cell as the math. It looks to me like you might be using the alternate style of beginning the author's comment on a new line. If that is the case, each comment needs to be indented four more cells. I show that option as a second choice in the attached file.
All author's comments in the transcription should follow the same layout -- either run-in or displayed. Explain the placement of author's notes in a transcriber's note.